Board Member Violates Code of Conduct in Attempt to Smear Family
After an 11-year-old child was assaulted on campus at The O’Neal School, significant community discussion was anticipated. The incident was thoroughly investigated by a police detective who interviewed the victim, an eyewitness, school administration, the assailant, and doctors. Medical records were also reviewed, and incriminating text messages from the assailant were examined. The detective then filed a petition for simple assault against the attacker. Our website highlighted the trauma endured by the child and his family, showcasing medical records from several providers over multiple months, totaling over $35,000 in health insurance claims while managing chronic pain during recovery.
In February, the Stefanik family was approached by a reporter interested in their story. Following an interview, the article was published, detailing the events and encouraging others to come forward with more information. Shortly thereafter, a member of the O’Neal Board of Trustees began aggressively defaming the father and their son, attempting to undermine the family’s credibility.
We received an email from a source, which was authored by this Board Member, containing content so offensive that we chose not to redistribute it. However, it has come to our attention that this same Trustee is now actively spreading the lies from this email within the community.
Although we will not publish the email’s repulsive contents, it is necessary to summarize a few key points to expose the deceitful lengths to which this individual has gone to mislead the public and distort the narrative. The email begins by slandering the father with various derogatory labels, falsely accusing him of dishonesty and wrongfully alleging that his son had a serious disciplinary history. Despite never having met the victim, the Board Member insinuates through a warped understanding of school records that this child may have instigated the attack—a claim clearly contradicted by the police investigation. It also suggests that the family is orchestrating the criminal prosecution of the assailant, ignoring the fact that the case is firmly within the jurisdiction of the juvenile justice system. Furthermore, it outrageously claims that the case will likely be “laughed out of the court” while continuing to smear the family and their supporters in a blatant attempt to discredit them.
The suggestion that any assault, especially on a child, could be treated humorously is not only shameful but profoundly disturbing. This is particularly egregious coming from an honored “leader” with a longstanding family history at the school.
The report card provided to the Stefanik family last year starkly contrasts with the claims pushed by this Trustee. This was the opinion multiple O’Neal teachers had of the student a few months prior to the assault and before the family raised a complaint about the administration’s misconduct:
- History Teacher: “I feel like I’ve known you forever. I find you to be inquisitive, hard-working, honest, and accessible. You speak up, ask questions and make comments, and are an advocate for your classmates. You represent the true soul of a middle school student.”
- Math Teacher: “I have always enjoyed having you in class. This year it has been a pleasure to have you in advisory as well. You come into class full of life and ready to learn. It is so refreshing to see someone enjoy every day the way you do. You are committed to doing your best and striving to reach your full potential.”
- French Teacher: “I have very much enjoyed teaching and getting to know [child] this semester. He is dedicated to his work, gives his best effort, and his enthusiasm for learning is admirable. He is motivated and has great work and study habits.”
- Science Teacher: “You worked hard this semester, and your grades reflect these efforts. You have matured as a learner and continue to do so. You arrive to class each day eager and ready to be taught… I’m excited to teach you again in the second semester.”
Additionally, when the family left O’Neal, they requested a complete copy of the transcripts for all three of their children. According to John Elmore, the former Head of School, “We will forward grades, comments, and records to [child’s] new school upon request.” When the transcripts arrived, they listed only the expelled child’s grades, showing no disciplinary history of any kind.
The behavior of this Board member, who in our opinion has acted heartlessly towards a young child, is utterly despicable. They are unfit to hold any position of authority within organizations that oversee the welfare and privacy of students. All board members of O’Neal are required to sign a code of conduct emphasizing the importance of confidentiality:
“Board members are reminded that confidential financial, personnel, and other matters concerning the organization, donors, staff, or students/families may be included in board materials or discussed from time to time. Board members should not disclose such confidential information to anyone.”
Additionally, the New Trustee Orientation underscores the critical importance of confidentiality with repeated emphasis, stating their responsibilities as “Confidentiality, Confidentiality, Confidentiality, and CONFIDENTIALITY.”
The code of conduct also explicitly prohibits harassment:
“Any board member who engages in discriminatory, intimidating, or harassing conduct towards any employee, contractor, consultant, student, or volunteer is subject to removal from the Board.”
Furthermore, the document clearly states the consequences for such violations: “I understand that failure to abide by this Code of Conduct may result in my removal as a Board Member, pursuant to the requirements and processes provided in the organization’s governing documents.”
We are calling for the immediate removal of this Trustee and any others who have engaged in gross violations of their duty. We urge the community to reach out to the Board Members of The O’Neal School directly to ensure those responsible for these actions are held accountable. The current list of Board Members is available on the school’s website.
It is now clear that the toxic culture at O’Neal is perpetuated from the highest levels of leadership. The notion that records of children attending this school can be manipulated and exploited for the purposes of slander and defamation is truly sickening.